A new whirlwind adventure Dervish in Progress, Ziya Azazi
In a big studio with lots of beautiful people
And beautiful skirts
And full of curiosity and exitement
Filled with new information on how to
This dance can send
Physical emotional mental
Once again, I was full of anticipation…
But my body said no, don’t calm down too much….
I am not safe
My emotions said I am not seen heard
Trying harder went the mind: you can do this best!
And I went and I got sick again
I sat down, because I couldn’t bear the shame of spitting all over the dance floor.
I had just learned that I can choose:
My mind says stop at rising emotions and throws up nausea
What does it want to be felt?
It was sadness, deep guilt shame: I am not good enough.
I was devastated, and surrendered to crying
Pale again, the thought of taking a step was already too much….
Let alone a circle around my axis….
Then I had had it: spinning is not good for a person: end of research.
I won’t go back to the second day.
I’m too sick.
I drew a card:
The caterpillar said, “only the last stage of my life I am a butterfly.”
Yes so … ok, I surrender … today I am an egg and I will see.
I went with the promise to myself to take it very easy and not expect anything.
And somewhere I did feel: the worst was over yesterday.
Today an unexpected gift awaits.
And so it was
After an intensive authentic sharing session, and some new knowledge.
Am I very quiet in a corner of the studio, with no swirly skirt
With my hands on my heart, turn left.
Step by step, step by step….
Repeating the following sentence over and over: I am good as I am
I am good the way I am, I am good the way I am.
The music whipped up, the dancers went wild like a whirlwind,
Laughing screaming.
And I kept quietly doing what I was doing
Slowly I noticed more freedom in my body, more room to go a little faster anyway. My axis became stronger my column became wider and lighter.
I closed my ears to the music as it roared straight into my ears next to the box.
And kept turning faster and faster
I am good the way I am
I am good the way I am.
I felt good there as I was. In my strength in peace and love for me.
And then from behind me, two arms appeared around me.
Ziya whirled with me.
Before I knew it, I was whirling around the room upside down in his arms over his back.
I let go of everything at full speed
And felt quiet within me, peace.
Yet fully present in my body
Completely free
Back on the floor through in a whirlwind dance
Spinning playing laughing
And again loose my own dance in
From there I was free
A vibrant energy awoke
My passion for movement and dance went wild
I swayed, stomped, sloughed
Flown.
Carefully pushed my limits, discovered new positions, movements and possibilities.
I’m FREE!!!!!!
I have so much fun dancing
So much power, so many opportunities to express myself.
Dance dances me…